Friday, March 17, 2006

THE HUSBAND STORE! *LADIES ONLY*

This is hilarious! I got this from a friend! DAMN BLOODY GOOD! SERIOUSLY!

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a
husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may
visit the store ONLY ONCE !

There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There
is, however, a catch . . .. you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband . .

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.

The second floor sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.

The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework.

"Oh, mercy me!"she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and
have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth
floor and the sign reads:













Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists
solely as proof that women are impossible to please.

Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!


Sunday, March 12, 2006

Zaman 80-an. The 80s.

This was taken from Kuah Jenhan(Kaypopotamus), my ex-classmate, for posting this up and allowing me to share it to my fellow readers! Thanks Jenhan! ENJOY!

For those of you born in the
80s…you won’t want to miss this.

A friend of mine sent me a forwarded message about childhood and it was written in Malay. After reading it, I thought it was kind of meaningful and nice…so I decided to translate the gist of it and also I wrote my own into it. Read it!

How I miss the times when we were young. Happy happy only. Play with our friends 24 hours. Heehehe. Read during our free time, enjoying. Surely you will remember back to the time when you were in school, signs of you being an 80s baby.

We grew up watching G-Force, He-man, Transformers (wished your dad’s car could transform someday), Thundercats (holding your grandma’s broomstick shouting THUNDER THUNDER THUNDER CATS), SilverHawk, Woody Woodpecker, Chipmunks, Mickey Mouse, NINJA TURTLE (I can still name all the turtles…can you? :p), Mask, Smurfs, Voltron, Baja Hitam, Ultraman, and many more.

In primary school, remember the times we had “check gigi” (dental checkup)? Must bring cup to school, colourful colourful cup and mummy ask you keep inside plastic bag. Then, class by class, form a single file by the longkang (drain), then all squat down follow the nurse with the humongous toothbrush for the humongous ‘gigi’. Then see some of your friends don’t know how to brush teeth, some brush until feel like vomiting, some so ‘semangat’ (enthusiastic) brush until toothpaste become red because gums all got hole, bleeding. Then the nurse will call you into the office one by one to check your teeth. Then you can hear the dentist drilling holes in your friend’s teeth in the next classroom. What to do? Their teeth got hole must patch lah.

Surely you’ll remember this, Program Minum Susu (drink milk) to encourage primary school kids to drink milk. RM 0.30 for one box only ok! Then the milk will come in big big boxes then all the kids will line up to get their box of milk.

When it comes to punishment, you’ve only heard of two things. ‘Pembaris panjang’ (long ruler) and rotan. The pembaris panjang is the long long yellow colour one. Sometimes teachers may even break it. When going to ‘kena’ (get it) already, must show your palm. For rotan, teacher will ask you to take out your wallet; teacher knows all your tricks like stuffing your buku rampaian down your pants or wearing extra underwear.

In the canteen, food is cheap. Mihun only 30 cents. Drinks also 20 cents. Then guarantee got one mak cik selling junk food to make you fat there. The choice of shoe is simple. Bata, Sparx, Pallas Jazz and some prefer the high cut shoes from China. Some like to wear the super thick socks and super high socks that pulls up to the knee. The smart ones will fight for who has the cleanest shoe. Who step on their shoe only, got black spot, muka masamlah satu hari (be gloomy for a day). The ‘gangster’, naughty boys, the blacker the more terror! But when teacher check, all rush to classroom take chalk and ‘polish’ kasut. Then pass the inspection already, the shoe can become kung-fu shoes. Here kick there kick sure got dust and chalk fly out.

Internet? E-mail? CD? Nah…don’t know what is that…yet. Cassette tape I know la. Those who know music will think they’re the smarter ones…but actually all they know is BACKSTREET BOYS and WESTLIFE.



“…you are, my fire…the one…desire……….Backstreet’s back, ALLRIGHT!”


Outside school surely there is some aunty or uncle on motorcycles selling loads of junk food, Ding Dang (the box of chocolate balls like medicines in Chinese dramas and also a toy inside), Mamee, Kum Kum, UFO, O-ya, Chickerdis and many more. Then we always go play ‘tikam’, mini gambling, and get the round round plastic balls.

After exams is the best of times la…before the results are out that is. We’ll be playing Uno cards, Uno Stack-o, Donkey, Happy Family, Old Maid…damn Old Maid, always also I sure become Old Maid. Those hardcore ones will bring Monopoly, Snake and Ladders, Checkers, CHESS and all the other board games. The best game of all for me however is…playing erasers. Fuah! It was so popular we even had tournaments to find the “Raja Pemadam” (King of Eraser). Each one of us will develop our own skills and flipping techniques, measure distance with our fingers to get the eraser on top on the opponent’s eraser. Winner takes the loser’s eraser sometimes.

During PJK (Pendidikan Jasmani & Kesihatan), Physical Education, all must ‘stretching’ first…then some play badminton, some football some bola chop, and also captain’s ball. Another famous game was the Guli (marbles). This is also another superb game. We even had values for each marbles and their colors. Some of the guli we have to put them in front of our eyes facing the sun to see the colour of the glass. The purple and brown blend used to worth most. Then there was the metal gulis. During recess, we’ll draw circles around any sandy area of the school compound and start tossing our marbles out (erm…not those marbles). Sometimes our marbles get stolen too. And that sucks.During that time, it was like losing a car or a house.

Other times we’d play Pepsi Cola. Does anyone still remember the Pepsi Cola rhyme? If you do please let me know. Other than Pepsi Cola, there’s also Police and Sentry or Police and Thief and also kejar-kejar (tag). When the game is over, and you’re thirsty…we’ll take out 10 cents to buy the tube ice cream. The one we have to break in half to lick. It tasted so good…got chocolate flavour (which actually was just Milo), lychee, strawberry, sirap and many more.

In class, we’d take papers and fold them as tight and compact as possible to make ‘lastik’ (catapult bullets), shoot our friends and sometimes they cry. Then lastik was banned. So we would take the box of chalk and steal some chalk. Some break it into smaller pieces to throw…which eventually became illegal too. If teacher walk around and find bits of chalks on the floor…then ‘kena’ lah. Pembaris panjang or rotan. Some of us will make our friends look like old man. Take the chalk; mash it up by sawing it with our rulers and keeping them in nicely folded paper envelopes. When your friend is paying attention to the blackboard (not projector) in front, then you’ll blow it all on his hair…and the whole class laughs behind him. Muahaahahahaha.

Majority of those born during these eras are already in colleges/ universities. Like me, born 1987 (still young now), I’m in college now. It was during this time that….

CD came along.

You would have heard of the song like We Are the World, Heal the World, Uptown Girl (by Westlife, not Billy Joel), I Want It That Way, I’ll Never Break Your Heart, and not songs like Boulevard of Broken Dreams, Believe Me, and many more.

Michael Jackson was already whitening.

AIDS came along.


Now,

You cannot imagine black and white computer monitors.

You don’t know how to switch the TV on without a remote.

You cannot for the life of you understand what use is a black and white television.

BSB is gay (still a minority who worships them though).

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Such wonderful and powderful memories.

Let's check if we're you're getting old... (Taken from Velverse)

1. You understand what was written above and you smile.

2. Most of your secondary school friends are getting married.

3. You are always surprised to see small children playing comfortably with computer.

4. When you see teenagers with mobile phones, you shake your head.

5. You spend less and less time talking on phone with your friends daily.

6. When you meet your old friends from time to time, talking about the good old days, repeating again and again all funny stories you experienced together.

7. Lastly, having read this mail, you are thinking of forwarding it to some other old friends. You think they will like it too.....


Friday, March 03, 2006

Are we living in a "civilized" society or ...

Just yesterday(Thursday) morning, I was on my way to college around 7 something and got caught in the usual jam over at Old Klang Road. However, this was no ordinary day. While I was using that road, a taxi(Taxi 1) was right in front of me and we were moving very slowly until... *KRASH* he did not slow down and made a permanent mould of his vehicle's head on the taxi(Taxi 2) just right in front of him. Instead of going down and settle it mano-a-mano like the usual drama-filled "negotiations" by the side of the road, Taxi 2 just continued on without so much a wink. I presume that he must be renting that taxi and couldn't care less about it or maybe he's just shock resistant, I don't know.

Anywayz, Taxi 1's driver waved his hand out of the window, apologising profusely to Taxi 2 who was no more than a dot now. As I waited for his vehicle to start moving again, I was greeted by not the exhaust fumes coming out of his vehicle, but rather, a horrendous sight that I thought no longer existed in this civilized society. The man put on his hazard lights and just remained rooted on that spot and grabbed a handful of his(I assume to be) wife's hair (who was sitting next to him in the front passenger seat) and proceeded to BANG her head against the front passenger window a couple of times as I moved to the next lane. The taxi's sideview mirror said it all to me, I saw the lady's face remained emotionless, or as if this is just another of those days.

I'm pretty sure you would be asking by now, did I do anything to put a stop to it? I WISH I DID. You see, as I moved on to the next lane, that shocking sight did not register to me until a few seconds later as I was driving away from that scene. When I regained my composure, I thought of taking down the taxi's number plate by looking at the rear-view mirror, but alas, it was not to be, I was too far. That incident really shook me up and left me rather shocked for most of the journey. Now, I live with guilt because if I am given a second chance to relive that moment, I would have done something to stop it or at the very least tried to call the police or something. I feel for that woman. I really do. I just hope that someone else on that road saw that incident and put a stop to it and she would, I hope, be safe and away from that beast that should not be called a man.

What would you have done should you be in the same situation as me in the near future?